are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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