How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
