The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
