just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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