it wasn't lemon gatorade
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
