Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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