and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
