Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my shit smells like andre
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize