Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
