she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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