In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
