Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
