she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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