Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Omg I joined a choir last night...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
