They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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