She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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