sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
