Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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