8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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