I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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