dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
