I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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