Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
