so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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