I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Come see our sink grown plant.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
