found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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