what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this boner is exhausting
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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