Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
