69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
