I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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