He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
