I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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