Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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