Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
