last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
