am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Randomize
