he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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