i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
