I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
