if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
