3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
