I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
