This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
