yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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