I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
