Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
