Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
