i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
