im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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