its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize