why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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