It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
