we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
