I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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