Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
