O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
