I CAN MOONWALK!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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