Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
