if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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